I had trouble naming this column. My first idea was RUNAWAY MOM but that makes me sound flighty. For a while I called it FEELING BETTER but that made me sad. While trying to figure this out, I had the chance to go to Newfoundland with a group of women. Talking with these women (none of whom I’d met before) cracked open a shell that I’d formed around myself. The women on this trip didn’t have issues around motherhood — or at least they didn’t have the same issues I did. If your kids are struggling, having trouble with drugs and the law, it’s tough to be open. In our culture, moms get the blame. If your kid gets into Harvard, you did everything right. If your kid isn’t on THE PATH (more on the path later) then it’s the mother’s fault.
I bought into this for years and years, and that shell got thicker and thicker. (Imagine a hermit crab with bright red hair. That’s me!) But meeting up with women who were searching made me realize that the shell kept me from moving forward. That to find what you need, you have to say what you want and you have to leave the shell.
Here’s what I want:
- To meet others like me (parents who don’t feel entirely successful)
- To share stories and some laughs
- To move forward with a lighter spirit
I want to move forward. Period.
If you hope for the same, I hope we can connect.